As estate & business planning attorneys here on Cape Cod, we are telling clients almost every day the importance of having a Will, Massachusetts Health Care Proxy and Durable General Power of Attorney. These documents very simply lay out the basic rules for just about any kind of unexpected, unplanned, and unfortunate event in an adult’s life. Questions like: “Where should the money go?” or “Who should have the authority to direct my bank and doctor on my behalf?” are answered conclusively with these documents. But what these documents do not often account for is a resolution to the question of what should be done with an individual’s remains after death.
Attorneys are not typically involved in burial and funeral decisions, but it is our job to make our clients aware of potential issues down the road. Without clear instructions, a death in the family can cause all kinds of unnecessary events. There may be a disagreement between siblings on what the deceased family member wanted. Feelings of guilt, too, can also lead a grieving family member to spend a lot more on a funeral than the decedent would have wanted. So outside of the will, there is a very important gift that everyone should leave for their loved ones; pre-planned and pre-paid funeral arrangements.
What Can Happen Without Prepaid Funeral Arrangments – Learning the Hard Way
I also have personal story on how important these arrangements can be.
When my mother passed away, my father had to deal with all of the arrangements for my mother. But, I could sense the pain and grief in his voice as he explained to me the arrangements that he had made.
So before my father passed away, he made sure to inform me and my siblings that he had made all of his funeral arrangements in advance with the local funeral director. To this day I still maintain that it was one the best gifts that my father left us.
After his death, we did not have to experience the process of going to a funeral home to decide what kind of casket, or what arrangements would be made for the funeral. We did not have to wonder who was going to pay for the funeral or decide where he would be buried. He had already made those decisions on his own, and paid for them in advance.
The loss of a loved one is a painful and traumatic time. There are so many things that have to be accomplished in a short period of time. So for many families, having to spend time with a funeral director, making decisions and preparing the obituary can add extra trauma and exaggerate an already painful time.
Omitting a Prepaid Burial Plan – And Depleting the Estate Plan
I have not only experienced this personally, but with many of my clients, friends and family.
One of my friends was something of a “pinch penny” all of his life, saving everything to make sure his family would have the resources they needed when he passed away. But he failed, however, to take this one simple yet critical step.
So when he passed away prematurely at age 58, his wife was so stricken with grief that she spared no expense for his arrangement upon meeting with the funeral director. Now, I am not saying that funeral directors will take advantage of grieving family members, but why take the chance. My friend is probably rolling over in his grave because of what his wife spent!
Most spouses have discussed their wishes with each other, but it will still lessen the burden of the surviving spouse and/or the children if each and every adult takes this extra step to complete their estate plan with pre-planned and pre-paid funeral arrangements.
Where to Turn for Help in Prepaid Funeral Arrangements on Cape Cod
There are funeral homes all over Barnstable County that will meet with anyone seeking to have these arrangements completed and finalized. And although we do not generally “endorse” other businesses, we have worked with and assisted Doan Beal & Ames of Hyannis, and some of their clients, on a number of occasions. Mark Tomkins, the President there, is an excellent resource for all of your prepaid funeral service needs. He can be reached at mark.tomkins@dignitymemorial.com
